Just a normal post

It has been a long time for me to update a post. I nearly forget about its function. I have problems. A lot of it. Some of them may not be seen as serious or considered as a problem from the perspective of the others. I have friends. Besties. However, I find that it's hard to tell my problems or even get an advice from them. I know what I should do but I just don't feel like doing it. I need to tell people and get opinions from them. I think I need a listener who will not judge me and just hear me out. In the past, I liked to share my problems, feeling or advice to my friends but lately, I hardly meet them. When I meet them, I treasure the time spending with them and I am afraid that they may get tired of me talking about the same thing or complaining about things. I care about what people thinking about me and I take them seriously. It is not right! Their opinions and thoughts may be right but I should not care that much until I feel like I am controlled by these thoughts. I changed according to them. I listened to what they said and I felt shame or embarrassed if I did "wrong". I know I am not confident enough to make my own life Time passes. Instead of making a change, I let them go smoothly. After 4 years of a degree life, I found out that I did not use them properly to grow up. I am not acting as a person who resembles my age. It is like I never grow up. To do so, I need to face the problems, instead of running away from them. I have this thought all the time but I just can't pull myself together to face it. Whenever there is a problem, or before it becomes a problem, I already freak out. I cover myself too much until they don't know the real me. I make myself to look like a fearless person on the others' eyes. Well, in reality, I am gutless.

Ah... Now I know why people love to write about their feeling or other simple things on Facebook. I used to do that until I find that I prefer privacy. If it is hard to tell the world, then I just gonna write it down. At least now I know what is my fear. I am not sure whether writing out is helping me but it is definitely calming me down.

学校生活

我现在在Form 6 已经待了差不多2个月了，适应着吧~还记得刚开始时，什么都不懂，什么都不知道
哈哈~当然压力啦~感觉自己很笨，学过的东西就这样消失在脑海里.....尤其是你身边的人又懂老师说什么，更加辛苦~不过能怪谁呢？还不是因为自己懒惰，什么东西都不要复习...明知道英文不好，又不要读
上了Form6,真的希望自己会有个改变，应该有的改变，希望自己能变得更加坦诚，能够把心里想的都说出来，不需要去顾及他人的心情....一年后的我依然羡慕着那些坦诚说出自己的感受的人，即使那会让彼此留下伤痕，但至少别人能够了解自己一直以来瞒住的心情和想法.我是一个非常胆小的人，心中有千万个想法，但却总是说不出口，怕会伤害到别人，怕又会遭到朋友的不体谅，所以就不自觉的又收藏起来了.人家说我很emo,非常的情绪化，性格是其一，主要的是我又把话收起来了.有些人认为他们懂我，不过连我都不懂自己，他们又怎么懂我呢？有时候，真希望有人会体谅到我的心情.我只是不懂我能体谅的为什么你们都不能？也许这话有点自私，但是我只想偶尔你们也能在我立场想一想.我不是真的这样潇洒，不是什么事情都是无所谓的，我只是讨厌麻烦罢了.我也不喜欢跟人狡辩，也很讨厌说话.所以，我很讨厌人打扰我说话，那是因为我难得爱说话.被打断后，我就不要讲话了.不是我emo,如果你有心要与我说话，交友，就不该打断人，再说不好意思.我相信如果是你，你也会不开心.Be Understanding!己所不为，勿施于人! 有时我爱一个人呆着，不要整天说我emo,只是因为你们会无视我，被无视的感觉不好，虽然孤单寂寞的感觉也不好受，但绝对比那好多了.也许你们不了解，只因为你们身边永远都有那么一个人绝对不会不理你.我？或许有，但那个人绝对不是永远，只是偶尔，因为那''被无视''这个好朋友从没离开过我~心中有很多很多的烦恼，不过我会一个一个的去解决...就算会花很长很长的时间....考试几个月后就来临了，我也要好好加油了!世上不会辜负你的只有你自己,最爱你的也是你自己!我相信有志者事竟成~heeXP

I WONDER

Why sometimes people can't understand by themselves? I really wonder why.....
I don't like to explain but if u don't , people will think that you are capable in everything
I'm not a patient person and not friendly. I have a HOT temper and i admit it.
Why not? I hate myself too. I like things simple. However, nothing in this world is simple.
Do you believe friendship can be forever? I doubt it. People keep making friends because they hate to be alone. When they have new friends, they just forget the old friends. It 's truth and it is human nature. Love the new and dump the old. I remember there is a sentense saying that when your friends ignore you, remember that they have the choice to not be your friends at the beginning. However , in my opinion, if they are going to ignore me, they better don't be my friends at the beginning.Let me don't know you all forever.

My Form 6 Live~

Finally i past my orientation week for form 6! Well, it was not as horrible as i thought. I choose bio as my main subject. Why? Because i don't like physics but at the same time i hate to catch insects! Hope that there will be someone help me to catch them!T^T My bio and chemistry tuition classes start on June, so i still can have my own time now. I don't why sometimes i just couldn't communicate with people well. I want to be friendly but i just act like a rude person. I hate it! My social skill isn't improving! @_@ Now i'm doing my P.A tuition work. It needs a lot of understanding and memorising. I hope i can be more active and hardworking!>.<

Happy?Sad?

Yesterday was my birthday....be honest,i was happy
my co-workers gave me presents
it was really unexpected!
Thx them a lot!
my friends also gave me too..
Thank you

There is a friend completely forgeting my birthday o in purposely way
i have no idea
although once i really thought xxx is my best friend, now i really dunno
time can change ppl
it's correct!
Friend will END!
However friendship will nt end...it will last forever
just Friend will always keep CHANGING!
It is fact!

My happiness last one day...N i really appreciate it!
Thx!
My temper is becoming more n more worst..
i know d reason n i cant control it
i wont stupid again to write my temper in FB!

我的心底话

最近的我打工了，原本以为井水不犯河水就会做得很平静！
怎么知道！一切都是小蛋糕的错！
不过也因为它我才了解到出来社会后不论什么事/人都不可以过于相信
不然，你就会被整到惨惨，这是事实！

原本的我在这里是nobody,但现在却变成somebody!
欠打！
@@
一点点事情也要打小报告，你打归打还要加盐加醋
真的是无言之极
物以类聚，人以群分，十分正确

我最近好像真的惹人厌
有一个人这样跟我说，：“你真的很不合群”
对！对！对！我就这样
你们又怎么懂我的心情呢
你们约我，我答应去，然后呢？
你们就知道晾我一个在那儿，好像一个陌生人
然后呢，你们就会说，：“你又不主动跟我们说话！”
是！是！是！我哪知道你说什么啊?!!
你们以为我没有试过尝试吗？？！我问过啦，还问了很多次！
你们回我了吗？？？！

每次跟你们出去，除非一对一，要不然下场只有被晾着
你们懂吗？那种想说却说不出口的感觉
就算问出东西了，有了个话题，但是一旦其他人插嘴，它又断掉了
就是这样，每次都这样
你们以为我早回为什么？我为什么那么不喜欢讨厌跟你们一块啊？

对，你们出去叫我一起，我很感动没错
但我拒绝了，因为那种感觉真的让我很可恨
可有可无的感觉我很憎恨
真的很尴尬！明明当了朋友这么多年
现在想起才发现原本以为是好朋友的人不再是了
就连是朋友我都不敢说

人家说白羊不记仇但爱生气，我承认我是这样
但是，要是事情不断的发生，一直发生
那已经不是爱记仇什么了，是不想也不行了

哈哈！不爽！十分不爽！
因为我一直拒绝，所以理所当然的你们不再叫我了
虽然那个时侯的确很不悦，但是谢谢
因为这样，我才能很肯定的说你不是我的好友
不然，心里老是50 50
现在，轻松很多了
很真心的说谢谢！
^^

以前一直怕这怕那，总是认为把心里话说出来会伤害到彼此的友情
但是，却因为不说，所以现在受伤的是自己，不开心的也是自己，爱发脾气被说的也是自己
所以，现在不要了
我很羡慕那些有话就说的人，总是不顾别人感受，只是想把心里话说出来的人
不开心就哭，开心就笑，虽然我不喜欢这种人，但他们总是会有真心朋友
说好一点是坦白，坏一点不就是自私嘛，只顾己，他人要死要活是他们的事，与己无关
不过，他们依然会被一大群朋友围绕
所以说，自私一点不好吗？

我知道，这个blog大概不会被人注意
应该说没有人会注意到我曾经写过这个Blog
有的人也许我说了，大概也不会去记得
有的人也许会看，但现在不会了
有的人根本不知道
不知道也不错！

今天成绩出了！

我很幸运的拿到了10A，虽然不是全部A+，不过算不错了吧
有的人认为我很开心，但是其实真的还好
不过，要是我的成绩不是这样，我也许就会不开心了
但现在并没有说什么开心的
只是这样而已.......

有些事的却让我很不爽，很不愉快
我不想送了，心情转变得快的我
突然有个想法，为什么我这样热情啊

我不合群，不可以吗？
为什么我一定要跟着你们的脚步走呢？
我尊重我的想法，我的原则不好吗？

就算受到了这种对待，很不开心
不过，我愿意
孤独也许难受，但却比被无视来得好，来得棒